Before our regularly scheduled programming, I’d like to let you in on an evening with Maggie. Another evening with Maggie. I want you to get an idea of what happens when I don’t step in.
I heard Mike say this in the other room – use your imagination as to what was going on:
“Put that down! Put it ON the table… whaddya doin’ with it THAT FULL?!?!?! WHO DID THAT?!?!?!”
A few minutes later, I hear Ethan:
“Maggie – PUT THAT DOWN!!!
To which Maggie responded,
“You… YOU GO SHUT UP ETHIP!!!! I not like you ANYmore!” (ANY is emphasized A LOT here)
The problem is that Maggie is like a wild animal. All of her senses are waiting at the ready for any flicker of light, any noise, any smell (especially if it smells like popcorn). So as she is yelling at Ethan, Katie casually walks into the room and picks up the cat, Liza, to take her to bed.
But, she wasn’t casual enough. Maggie has a keen sense for any form of subterfuge and she knew that something in her immediate vicinity was about to change. Maggie doesn’t like change. The universe is hers and hers alone. Thus the entire content thereof belongs to her as well.
“Katie… that is MY CAT. Put her down… right now.”
Kate made the mistake of ignoring Maggie. Maggie will not be ignored. Especially when she is in THIS particular mood. The next sound is coming from the stairs. Maggie is shrieking, sobbing, and has flung herself, dramatically, on the stairs.
“Liza… LIZAAAAAAAAA!!!” She sobbed, hysterically, sounding very much like Marlon Brando in Streetcar Named Desire… “STELLA” Only Maggie is yelling, “LIZA!!!!”
“Liza is MY cat… MINE! You… YOU DON’T touch me… Katie!! You are FIRED!!!! FIRED!!!!”
Fired. See what I mean? FIRED! The kid thinks she is Donald Trump and we don’t even watch The Apprentice!!! I was fired 4 times before dinner the other night.
So, I finally stepped in and sent her to her room. I don’t know why everyone else over complicates it. :banghead:
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Lewis Black is my all-time favorite comedian. I love him. Enjoy!!!